Pop Culture | Books | 90s

15 Goosebumps Books That Failed To Give Us Goosebumps

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Scholastic

We have to give R.L. Stine credit for making kids across America actually pick up a book, but looking back at our childhood reading habits we have to question some of his choices.

There were 62 books in the original Goosebumps series, and at the height of their popularity Stine was pumping out a new novel every month, so it's no surprise they weren't all winners.

Here are 15 entries that were more silly than scary:

1. I Live in Your Basement

Scholastic

Marco's basement is home to a gloopy Jell-O monster named Keith (Keith?! Really?!) who wants the boy to look after him. It turns out the whole story was just Keith's bad dream. No, we don't really get it either.

Scariest part: Multiple scenes of Keith literally puking his guts out.

2. Calling All Creeps

Scholastic

The school bullies who pick on the dweeby Ricky reveal themselves to be reptilian Creeps, who want Ricky to be their leader. Sounds like a bad after-school special if you ask me.

Scariest part: Ricky lets his whole school get turned into Creeps to spite them. Harsh.

3. Why I'm Afraid of Bees

Scholastic

Our protagonist answers a shady internet ad, hoping to swap his body for a bigger and stronger one. Instead, he gets turned into a bee.

The book should be called "Why I'm no longer afraid of bees," because that's what we really learn.

Scariest part: Visiting a stranger you met over AOL.

4. The Barking Ghost

Scholastic

Two kids swap bodies with a pair of ghost dogs. That's about it, really. Amazing he could stretch it for 117 pages.

Scariest part: The kids swap bodies with a pair of chipmunks at the end, and the impostor kids go home with their parents.

5. Be Careful What You Wish For

Scholastic

Samantha gets on a witch's good side and earns herself three wishes. As you can guess, the wishes bring her complete happiness and everything goes well. Not! She gets turned into a crow.

Scariest part: Depressingly accurate descriptions of middle school bullying.

6. Let's Get Invisible

Scholastic

It's a bad sign when your horror novel sounds like a radical '80s sci-fi comedy. Kids use a magic mirror to turn invisible and prank grown-ups in this story about peer pressure.

Scariest part: If all your friends turned invisible and jumped off a bridge, would anyone notice?!

7. Chicken Chicken

Scholastic

A pair of kids upset the local witch (funny, my town never had one of those) when they make her drop some grocery bags. She curses them to slowly transform into chickens. They can only change back after pecking out an apology on their typewriter. Oh, and their last name is Sanders. Of course.

Scariest part: Nasty body horror descriptions of the kids transforming.

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