If you wanted to own some of the weirdest and best toys imaginable, the 90s were where you needed to be. Growing up at that time meant you could buy not one, not two, but three different dolls that could pee. It meant that your board games were based around murdering people. It meant that beating up your friends was just a fun good time as long as you covered your fists in balloons.
Every toy we had in the 90s was simultaneously the weirdest and best thing ever. I don't know why we thought a lot of these things were necessary, but who cares they were great! How many of these amazing toy commercials do you remember watching?
So many dolls that could pee...
The obsession was real in the 90s, but at the time none of us seemed to think it was weird. I guess it was neat that they could do it, but it's one of those things that they probably shouldn't have.
You had a few to chose between. There was Baby Alive who after you fed it would wet her diaper:
Magic Potty Baby who came with her own toilet:
As well as Potty Training Kelly who was Barbie's little sister who was learning how to use a toilet.
Slime-filled monster trucks
The Hot Wheels Slime-Inator is one of those toys that you can see why a kid would want it, but not at all why a parent would. There is no reason why anyone would want their kids to have a slime-machine that you know they would get all over the carpets.
Games about bullying your friends
Whether it was a board game, or a physical toy you played with, the 90s seemed to focus pretty heavily on making life difficult for your friends. I mean, at least it was in a safe way so no one was getting hurt, but it's an interesting pattern that emerged.
You could constantly break your friends hearts when you were playing Trouble:
Or you could play 13 Dead End Drive and essentially try to kill your friends so you could win the money.
And don't even get me started on Socker Boppers!
Believe or not, these aren't even half as weird as some of the others...
Bizarre board games
Board games are always weird. That isn't new for the 90s, but the commercials sure were interesting.
Whether you were training to be a doctor in Operation:
Creating elaborate traps in Mouse Trap:
Fighting over a weird plastic ring in Pretty Pretty Princess:
Or trying not to make your dad wake up in the simply titled game Don't Wake Daddy:
There were honestly so many strange board games...
Even though we already discussed Barbie's little sister who had her own toilet, Barbie didn't make it out of the 90s completely normal.
There was a life-sized Barbie who was in a wedding dress that would also fit the kid. She was called My Size Barbie and she was kind of terrifying.
Barbie's boyfriend Ken also had some weird choices in the 90s. There was a Shaving Fun Ken that would "grow a beard" that you could shave off. Why? No one will ever know...
They also made Gymnast Barbie who could "bend and flex in many ways". She had actual joints that looked a little bit insane, but she could do the splits so I guess that was cool.
So Jurassic Park is obviously flawless, but the toys that went with it were kind of strange if you thought about it. They were just a little bit gruesome. I mean, chunks of their bodies would fall off to reveal their skeletons. I guess that's what a dinosaur would do so it's not completely outrageous though...