Halloween is a privilege that kids are mostly taking for granted. You get to dress up in ridiculous costumes, and when you're young, you get to walk around and get free snacks from everyone in your neighborhood.
You can't really go trick-or-treating when you're an adult, but at least now we can buy our own candy supplies. Sure, it's not as satisfying as getting it for free, but at least we get our sugar fix.
There is, however, one benefit to having to buy candy yourself instead of running around town asking strangers for it. Instead of being given a weird assortment of nonsense, you get to pick what you actually want to eat.
No need to worry about getting the horrible stuff you know you'll never eat, not like the old days.
As kids, we took our chances, hoping someone would be giving out our favorite chocolate bars and sweet treats, but more often than not, we were stuck with these gross options. Obviously the so-called "worst" candy is different for everyone, but these are the ones that a lot of us hated.
First of all, raisins aren't candy. The trick-or-treaters are supposed to be giving out the tricks, not the adults.
Don't hand me a shriveled up grape and tell me to enjoy, because we all know I'm not going to. I know, beggars can't be choosers, but seriously, raisins?
First and foremost, I want to get ahead of this, I understand some of you actually like candy corn. Or at least you claim to...
But these waxy little nuggets are not desirable. They are one of those things that just stick around because they've been around forever. Don't give these out. I beg of you.
Good & Plenty
They aren't good, and we don't want plenty, please.
They seem like they aren't even trying, they look like pills, and then flavor them like black licorice, that's not a fair play.
Okay, in theory, a peanut butter flavored treat could be good right? I mean, a Reese's is good. But these? Oh boy.
Just because they wrap them in special Halloween-themed orange and black packages it doesn't mean that they are the ideal Halloween treat. It's all a marketing ploy, don't fall for it. That is, unless you want your house to get egged.
Yes, I know they are another classic, but the fact is they always taste stale. Is "stale" just a flavor they add into the little bites? Or is it just that stores are selling last year's Halloween candy still because no one actually wants to buy them?
Depending on where you live, these little chalk-like circles have a different name, but anywhere you go it still seems like you're eating Tums by the handful.
Yes, I know some people like them, including my mother, but there are so many better options.
Candy Sticks (Formerly known as Candy Cigarettes)
Remember those Popeye candy cigarettes? Of course you do, you had to throw out a good dozen boxes of them every year. They dropped the cigarette imagery, but they probably could have dropped the entire concept.
If you've ever wondered what it would be like to eat a piece of chalk, try one of these.
In what world should something shaped like a peanut taste like a banana? That makes no sense. Pick a flavor that matches the shape or pick a shape that matches the flavor, you're causing such a weird dissonance that none of us can comprehend.
You want to drink the world's tiniest quantity of liquid out of the tiniest, waxiest bottle every? Okay, why?
These little things shouldn't even be called candy because they are just too gross.
Can someone explain why there are so many candies that are made out of pure wax? Is it really safe to be eating all of this wax, or should we be concerned?
Sure, the goofy lips were funny to see, but why would you actually want to eat it?
Sorry, I know people like to chew gum, but Halloween gum is the worst of the worst. First of all, 90% of it is stale, and 100% of it loses flavor after exactly 5 seconds.
The only time that eating Dots is actually helpful is if you're looking to get rid of your baby teeth. They are going to rip out all your fillings, any remaining baby teeth, and be careful because they are so chewy and sticky that they may rip out your adult teeth too.
Sorry to all the six kids out there who liked getting these, but the rest of us hated getting these hard candies in our trick-or-treat bags. However, it was nice to have something Grandma could snack on when she came over.
Hey, don't try to trick me into eating your candy corn by turning it into a pumpkin. It won't work. The sweets are almost always stale, turning them into literal rocks that'll just break your teeth. It's never worth it, I promise.
There's one person every year who thinks they are being helpful. Don't do this. Don't be this person. It's not fun for anyone. Even if you're a dentist, it's not a good look.
The kid's parents are going to get them the toothbrushes they need, don't even worry about it. Just give the kid a Kit-Kat and be cool.