Listen To The 80's Kids: A Perm Revival Is A Bad, Bad Idea.
You've blocked it from your memory, but your mom still has the photographic evidence.
Now it's 2017 and, even though you thought those days were done, the perm has come back to haunt us all.
It might not be quite so big, fluffy or frizzy, but a perm revival is definitely upon us.
In the spirit of our post-traumatic-hair-disorder, we've collected the internet's best/worst perms from the 1980's, with the hope that fashion will change it's mind about bringing this trend back.
The only rule for '80s perms was the bigger the better.
Let's start off with height:
Massive Bangs/Pigtail Perm
Ah, classic. Pigtails were a great solution to pulling your hair back from the face and getting a little extra lift. The higher you could fluff and feather your bangs, the better!
Tower of curls
Some of us piled curl upon curl, your hair didn't have to be long, or thick to achieve this crowning nest of curls. All we needed was a can of extra hold hairspray, a pick comb and a curling rod for definition.
Power of the ponytail
It's like a curly Christmas cracker, anyone who can pull off this look with a straight face deserves our props. We really hope this look doesn't come back with the perm revival.
The MANE.
If you think it takes you forever to get ready in the morning, just look at this picture. Clearly, she's exhausted from blowing out that massive perm.
The Elvis Curl-Mullet-Perm
Please tell us this was a joke, or a dare. This is three hairstyles in one - I don't know what to look at first. She's definitely winning the trophy for highest perm, it almost doesn't fit in the picture!
No, wait, THIS guy takes the trophy for highest perm. It's still growing...
The Plasma Globe
Remember going to the science fair and putting your hand on the glass orb? Phil Spector's hair looks like he's swallowed the orb.
But wait, there are more reasons to leave perms in the past on the next page!
Now, let's talk width:
The Shoulder Width
If that mass of curls extends wider than your shoulders, you were a success. Add a little tulle, some sparkle and you've got a walking glamour shot.
The Earmuffs
Not so much height with this one, but the width definitely meets 80's perm standards.
The Waterfall
If Niagara Falls was interpreted into a hairstyle, this would be it - a thundering cascade and a big splash. She's got it all, height width and extra hairspray.
Let's be honest, we were all a little high on hairspray for like the first 5 minutes after we set our hair.
The UFO
Ladies. This is what happens when you have a perm and not enough time to style it in the morning.
I just...
This is...
Oh my...
How the...
Oh, honey...
Oh, dude, no...
Alright, that's a dog.
The point is: we all ended up looking like over-primped poodles, some of us can still smell the burning hair in our nightmares. Please, 2016, do everyone a favor... don't bring back the perm.
Love, 80's perm survivors.