Movies | Pop Culture | 80s
11 Signs You've 100% Turned Into Clark Griswold At Christmas
We all want to give our family a fun-filled Christmas, but how do we know when we've taken it too far? The holidays can be a stressful time that many of us survive with the help of Tylenol and alcohol.
That's why it's fun to sit back, relax and watch a Christmas movie that we can all have a chuckle to. As the years go on, the random laughter becomes something more relateable, because we realize exactly how Clark is feeling during the holidays.
With crazy family situations, dealing with your boss around the holidays and getting your house ready, it can be easy to lose sight of your sanity.
Here are those quotable lines from Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation that we would all love to use on our family during the holidays.
“That’s all part of the experience, honey.”
If this line is delivered in such a way, it may not come off as passive-aggressive. You will probably remember Clark saying it to his daughter as she complains while they trek into the wilderness to find their Christmas tree. Clark still has high hopes for the holidays at this point because they have barely begun.
“Bend over and I’ll show ya!”
I am sure you can find more than one occasion to use this line during the holidays. Clark uses it on his neighbors, who he doesn't have the best relationship with, when they were talking about the size of his Christmas tree.
“I’ll be outside for… the season.”
When your first round of relatives show up at the door, this one is best muttered under your breath. The stress of the holidays may make you want to curl up in a fetal position and hide in a snow bank, but hey it's Christmas!
“If I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn’t be any more surprised than I am right now, Eddie.”
No doubt this is my favorite line of the entire movie. We all have that one relative that shows up unannounced, but hopefully they aren't as eccentric as cousin Eddie is.
“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere? Leave you for dead?”
Some of Clark's best lines are delivered through half-gritted teeth and once they sink in you can't help but be jealous he just said that out loud. At some point your patience will run out with someone in specific this holiday and this line will pop up in your head.
“I can’t even afford to be an elf.”
If that doesn't scream Christmas, I don't know what does. While dreaming about his new pool that he may not be able to afford if his bonus check doesn't come in, he talks to Eddie's daughter, Ruby Sue, who had given up on Santa because of the disappointing Christmases she has had.
“Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn, the clean, cool chill of the holiday air, and some asshole in a bathrobe that’s emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.”
I would hope that you wouldn't have a relative empty a chemical toilet into your storm sewer, but the calm of something crazy like this is just accepting what comes during the holidays with your family staying with you.
“If he keeps it up it will be his last Christmas.”
At some point you will be cleaning trash off your kitchen floor and someone will demand something. In Clark's case it was old Uncle Lewis, that we just couldn't stop giggling about because we all have THAT relative. While this line may be cliche, in the moment it feels great.
“Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?”
So you may or may not be able to recite Clark's entire rant off the top of your head, but let's just say it is the most epic meltdown of any Christmas movie, ever.
When you hit that breaking point all you can do is swear and take a Tylenol for the headache you gave yourself.
“Don’t piss me off, Art!”
Don't forget the bulging eyes that go along with this line. As things literally crumble around you, you need everyone to back off, right now.
“It means something different for everyone.”
As with any Christmas movie, we have to have a take-away about what the true meaning of Christmas is.
With Clark and his family standing outside their home, the anger subsides as Aunt Bethany starts singing "God Bless America" and it really feels like Christmas after all.
What part of the movie did you relate to the most? Share with us in the comments.