10 Christmas Songs We All Hope To Never Hear Again
Christmas music is supposed to be a fun, lighthearted, and catchy way to get into the spirit of the season. However, sometimes, whether it's through the song being overplayed or just flat-out awful, we feel less cheerful and more homicidal whenever one of these tunes comes on while we're shopping. These 10 songs are especially bad for that.
Mariah Carey - "All I Want For Christmas Is You"
The only thing more absurd than how much money Mariah makes off this song is how often I have to hear it whenever I leave the house.
The Chipmunks - "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)"
True story: my high school was once doing a Christmas charity drive. To hit the initial funding goal, they played the Chipmunks Christmas album every morning and lunch hour until we raised enough money. This song is literally a torture device.
Joni Mitchell - "River"
Why is this even played at Christmas? It's boring, slow, and just downright depressing. It doesn't even have anything to do with Christmas!
Wham! - "Last Christmas"
Yeah yeah yeah, the original's a classic or whatever. The problem is, there's been so many horrendous covers of this over the years that it's impossible to even hear the original in your head anymore.
The songs just get worse from here...
New Kids On The Block - "Funky, Funky Christmas"
I'm not really sure what NKOTB's definition of "funky" is, but i'm pretty sure it shouldn't be this.
Paul McCartney - "Wonderful Christmastime (All The Best!)"
You pretty much either love or hate Sir Paul's post-Beatles work (don't even get me started on Wings), but this song in particular has had people annoyed for decades now.
Elmo & Patsy - "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"
Seriously, why did we let this morbid and just straight up WEIRD song become a staple of the holiday season? It's the actual worst.
Band Aid - "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
A bunch of millionaires try to tell us all about how badly other people around the world have it, instead of, y'know, using those millions to actually do something about it.
Eartha Kitt - "Santa Baby"
No disrespect to the legendary Eartha Kitt herself, but again, so many artists have covered this and made it increasingly raunchy, to the point that I can't hear it without shuddering.
NewSong - "Christmas Shoes"
There are so, SO many things wrong with the story this Christian rock song tells, but Patton Oswalt does a much better job summing it up than I ever could...