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20 Insane Pieces Of Dating Advice From 90s Magazines

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Bop / Seventeen

If we were ever even close to cracking the mysteries of love, it was back in the '90s.

Every teen magazine in the checkout aisle promised to spill the secrets of romance, and for the most part they gave us solid advice about love and life. But sometimes....well, you should see for yourself.

1. Is that legal?


I'm guessing Here is "wherever he can smell it."

2. Get your hair in shape


If your hair can't bench press 250 pounds, don't expect to get asked out to prom.

3. This is a disaster waiting to happen


If you remember just how guys were dressing back then, you can see why this was a bad idea.

4. I have a doctorate in Personology


Electric guy types do extra damage against water guy types.

5. If hairstyles could talk


Does your hair say "riot grrrl," or "I'm in a vulnerable place right now and just looking for a good listener."

6. That's a unique workout


Disclaimer: Throwbacks does not endorse the use of butt blasters, or other butt-enhancing workout routines. Consult a doctor before blasting your butt.

7. That's one way to deal with it

This 15-step guide to getting over a bad breakup is actually pretty insightful, but we have a bone to pick with number four.


"Surround yourself with hunks," it suggests, by covering your walls with "posters of hot boys." Not exactly confronting your problems head-on with that one.

8. "Bacteriology"


9. He is, or he isn't...maybe


Let's not make dating any more complicated than it already is.

Also, no, you don't talk too much, so you can skip that quiz.

10. Talk about unrealistic advice


It's not gonna happen.

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